Thirteen teams. One draft. The results of the Commissioner's grand experiment, presented in draft order: captain first, wildcard second, drafted pair to close. Interpretation, as promised, will be scrutinized.
Per the 2026 format, captains drafted in reverse order of ranking: worst captain first, best captain last. Each team shows its starting hole for the shotgun start. A note on hole 14: it is a genuinely difficult place to begin a round of golf, and the teams assigned to it were informed only after it was too late to object.
First overall pick, which, under this format, is the honor nobody wants. Congratulations, Max. Starting on hole 1, because someone has to do this the normal way.
The draft was designed, explicitly and in writing, to break up the 2025 super team. Two of its four members are on this team. The Tour Desk has questions. The Commissioner's office has not returned our calls.
The architect of the draft format has drafted his own father. We were told interpretation would be scrutinized. We are scrutinizing. Bret, meanwhile, remains one good Friday away from history.
Starting on 18 means finishing on 17, which means this team's final hole of the tournament will be played directly past the beer cart's last known location. Strategic. Possibly intentional.
Joey Riherd returns from Orange County to determine, once and for all, whether he can lead a team to victory. He cannot. He's not the captain. But BlackRock will be pleased to know he's at least on one.
Everest claims he does not play golf. He was last seen hitting one-handed bombs at TopGolf in a cast. If the "wildcard" designation was ever going to produce a tournament-altering surprise, it is here.
Starting on 14, the hardest opening assignment on the course. No warm-up hole, no gentle handshake par 4. Just immediate consequences. Our condolences to all involved.
The second of three Ryans to captain a team this year, which is either a coincidence or evidence that the captain-selection algorithm has a type.
The reigning Montclair champion draws the dreaded 14 start. The committee assures us the assignments were random. The committee also assured us the wildcards were random. The committee assures us of a great many things.
The best captain picks last, and the defending champion picked last. The format, for one shining moment, worked exactly as designed. Ben Hoban has confirmed he is bringing McDonald's. The team is already ahead.
The entire law firm, plus Luca Collins, who is now an honorary Amara for the weekend and has already been briefed on the billing structure. Any scoring disputes involving this team will be handled out of court. You do not want it going to court.
Matt Solone has drafted the entire Legge Trio, a package deal that technically violates the "pairs" rule, the spirit of the draft, and possibly the Geneva Conventions. The asterisk brothers ride together again, this time without Zach Avila to carry them. Now we find out.
The identity of the Celebrity Guest remains sealed, presumably in one of the Commissioner's envelopes. Whoever they are, their first experience of the DeMartini Tour will be a cold shotgun start on hole 14. Welcome to the big leagues.
Teams 1–10 assembled via the official captain / wildcard / pair draft. Teams 11–13 assembled via arrangements the Tour Desk has agreed not to investigate. Starting holes assigned for the shotgun start. Teams beginning on hole 14 have our sympathy and, where applicable, our sports betting interest.